December 2015: a busy time of year

December is a busy month for everyone, but for some it is even more so. Our Decembers fall under the “even more so” category. Not only do we celebrate Christmas & New Years as most do, we also celebrate 5 Birthdays (1 of which is actually January 2 & my wife on January 9).

My oldest daughter turned 23 this December, and got engaged. My 2 youngest sons turned 14 & 10 (one of which is on the 26th- you know, the day after Christmas), and the January daughter will be 16.

So how do we deal with the chaos of our house growing to accommodate decorating for 4 birthdays & Christmas, then de-decorating for each of those events and attempting to return back to ‘normal’?

Macro family communication, one day at a time. How??? 

Geez, I wish I had a magic bullet for this one. No one in the family can agree on an app to use. Not everyone checks their email consistently. Everyone gets annoyed by the group texts. I love using iCal (I’m a die hard Mac user), but no one else will accept the subscription request to it or post their events/info on iCal. My lovely and talented wife only uses and actual printed, pen and paper calendar/ organizer which, surprisingly, does not scale or share well. 

Without a unified method of communication, communication becomes a major challenge. One of the ways my wife and I attempt to combat this is to have a regular date night. A night that we connect and catch up on the progress of the children, express some goals & hopes, affirm each other in our work & roles, communicate with/to each other on a more intimate level and pray for each other. Making intentional time to communicate and support each other is a necessity for a healthy and happy marriage. The health of our marriage is the foundation which everything else in our life is based. And we find that we must base that foundation on God. If our foundation is not solid, then all other aspects and endeavors of our marriage will suffer and languish unnecessarily.

We have not arrived. We struggle with prioritizing this each and every day. The affects of poor prioritization becomes painfully evident - unfortunately, often times at the end of the day - and in an unforgiving way, bring our shortcomings to the surface like a nasty infection. 

Let me challenge you. 

Build a solid foundation. Outline your priorities. Write your priorities down and refer to them often. Tweak that document as needed to line up with your goals. Make sure you and your spouse (as applicable) are working from the same set of priorities- else you will be working against each other. The glue that holds your foundation together is the alignment of goals and priorities with God & your spouse. 

Ecclesiastes 4:12 - "And though a man might prevail against one who is alone,

two will withstand him—

a threefold cord is not quickly broken.” - esv.

What areas do you need to check your priorities? Do you and your spouses goals and priorities line up? Is your foundation based on the common alignment of goals & priorities between God, you and your spouse? What is the most effective method of communication you and your spouse have found? How can you better support and affirm your spouse?

Please share you successes in the comments.