Chat or talk?

Tell me, does this video about prayer strike a chord with you like it does me?
Why does prayer seem so difficult or elusive so often? Why can I remember to text a friend, but not talk with God? Why is it so easy to chat someone on FaceBook, but not chat with Jesus? Why is it second nature to have multiple phone conversations with someone during a day, but so foreign to have one conversation with the Big Guy?


A Chat With God from worshiphousemedia on GodTube.

And they heard the sound of the LORD God walking in the garden in the cool of the day, and the man and his wife hid themselves from the presence of the LORD God among the trees of the garden. But the LORD God called to the man and said to him, “Where are you?”
(Genesis 3:8-9 ESV)

It is part of human nature for prayer to be difficult. Ever since the fall, the heart of man longs in a most desperate way for God, but gets easily distracted and entangled in everything except God. There is a separation between man and God. An unnatural separation. A separation that was not the original intent. But, because there is now a separation, the simple act of having a conversation with a friend is now often times difficult and awkward. Prayer should be simple. A simple conversation. A conversation between a child and the most loving and caring father. There is no formula, no bullet list. God already knows my deepest, darkest secret that I try to hide in the back corner closet of the basement of my mind, He knows more about me than I know about myself. So then, why do I struggle with prayer?

What am I known for?

What am I known for?
Am I known as a Daddy, husband, brother, friend, coworker? Am I known for being funny, serious, boring, smart, dumb, helpful, selfish? Am I know for who I am or what I do?
What am I known for? What should I be known for?

A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another: just as I have loved you, you also are to love one another. By this all people will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another.”

(John 13:34-35 ESV)

Love. Love is what I should be known for. I should be known for the love that I show to others. I should be known for loving others just as Jesus has loved me. Unconditional, undying, unrestricted, undiscriminating love. Patient, kind, selfless, humble, polite, forbearing & unchanging love. Love that gives the last dollar in my wallet to the homeless lady sitting outside Vons. Love that takes the time to turn off the computer, TV and smartphone to listen to another human being. Love that sets aside my schedule to stop and see another human being. Love that overlooks wrongs, insults and inconsiderateness others have done against me. Love that pursues anyone lost, lonely and hurting. Love that serves, honors, encourages and blesses others. Love that is most concerned about the state of another's soul, rather than the shell that houses it. Love that has as its source the unrelenting passionate love of Jesus. Love. Love is what I should be known for.
What am I known for?

Comfortable life

I live a comfortable life.
I'm not rich, not by the American standard anyway, and I am not homeless, so far. I have a roof over my head, a cozy bed to sleep in, a full pantry, clothes to wear, internet, clean water and a car to get around in. I have family close by and a few friends that I get to interact with each week. I am comfortable. I do have my concerns, I am still unemployed, I have no reliable income, the pink notices keep piling up and everyday it seems like there is a new & unexpected expense. However,  I am comfortable. I may not be able to afford what this culture considers to be essential, but I have family, food, shelter and clothing - everything else is a luxury, a blessing from God. I am comfortable, but am I supposed to be comfortable?
What is the purpose of a blessing? Is a blessing for me to enjoy by myself? Is a blessing supposed to be a sign to others that God loves me so much that He gives me above and beyond what I need, more than others? Is a blessing to be stored, saved or hoarded? Is a blessing to be frivolously spent or used to get or achieve a goal or status? Or, is a blessing a responsibility, an invitation from God to be His servant and distributor? What purpose does God have when He allows someone to have overflowing or abundance in wisdom, understanding, finances, cupboards or success in business? What purpose does God have when He blesses someone with much more than the essentials for life? What does God expect of me when He blesses me with such abundance?

“When the Son of Man comes in his glory, and all the angels with him, then he will sit on his glorious throne. Before him will be gathered all the nations, and he will separate people one from another as a shepherd separates the sheep from the goats. And he will place the sheep on his right, but the goats on the left. Then the King will say to those on his right, ‘Come, you who are blessed by my Father, inherit the kingdom prepared for you from the foundation of the world. For I was hungry and you gave me food, I was thirsty and you gave me drink, I was a stranger and you welcomed me, I was naked and you clothed me, I was sick and you visited me, I was in prison and you came to me.’ Then the righteous will answer him, saying, ‘Lord, when did we see you hungry and feed you, or thirsty and give you drink? And when did we see you a stranger and welcome you, or naked and clothe you? And when did we see you sick or in prison and visit you?’ And the King will answer them, ‘Truly, I say to you, as you did it to one of the least of these my brothers, you did it to me.’

(Matthew 25:31-40 ESV)

The blessed (righteous) will feed the hungry & thirsty, treat strangers as friends, provide clothing to the needy and visit (minister to) those who are cast aside. The blessed, because they love God with all their heart, soul and mind, that drives them to love their neighbor as themselves. The blessings that God bestows on me are not for my own benefit, but for the benefit and encouragement of others. And beyond that, what I do with the blessings God has entrusted me with will be part of the standard He judges me by. I cannot afford to be selfish with the gifts of God. I am compelled by the love and sacrifice of God to give freely to others the blessings that He has given me, or least I should be.

Irony on a Card

It came in the mail the other day. Irony in the form of a post card.

Let me give a bit of background: I became unemployed August 2011. In the process of my job search, I was referred to out local School District (LUSD) Transportation department. I studied, took and passed all the written DMV tests for a Class A Commercial Drivers License (CDL) with all the endorsements (air brakes, Hazmat, Tanker, Doubles/triples & passenger). At the beginning of September 2011, the LUSD started the classroom portion of the Bus Driver Training. I passed the class at the end of September, and was put in the queue to get the mandatory behind the wheel training. Things were not moving very quickly, so I enrolled at a truck driving school in a nearby town, passed the course and got my Class A CDL.  I was recruited to a company for training, and left for training on December 28, 2011. I spent 1 month training by driving all over the East with a company trainer.

So, back to the irony in the form of a card. I got a postcard in the mail the other day from that same company. A card from the recruiting department. A card that makes the same promises I read on their website and heard from a the recruiter over the phone. The same promises I heard in my 3 day orientation (more like 3 days of frantic company paperwork). The same promises that my trainer (directly) and my Student Trainer Manager (indirectly) told me were not remotely close to being true. The same false promises that were the catalyst for me discontinuing the training program and coming home.

The statement on the front of the card:
"Personal Time: 70% of XXXX drivers get home nightly/weekly."
And the statement on the back of the card: "XXXX creates driving opportunities with our driver's needs in mind. What are yours? Local, Regional, Dedicated, Training, Teams, or own your own? See what XXXX can do for you." 

What I found to be true from my trainer and my short experience with company XXXX. I would not be one of the 70%. Most of the freight moves in the East. Regardless of what region I would be 'assigned' to, I would be running up and down the East 90% of the time. I would earn 1 day of home time each week on the road. I would be able to get 5-6 day of home time every 8-10 weeks. If I wanted to take more than 6 days in a row of home time, the company would take the truck back and upon returning I would have to wait to be reassigned another truck.
I am a husband and father to 10 children. Being on the road for 8-10 weeks without being directly involved in their lives is not an option. It is not what I believe God has called me to. I, and my family, learned some helpful lessons from my month on the road and are in the process of interpreting and applying them into our life.

I enjoyed the driving aspect of the job and I am hopeful that this is not the end of a driving job/career, however it needs to be something that not only provides for my family but also allows us to maintain the close knit family atmosphere we have worked so hard to protect. First and foremost, I am responsible for the training of my children. I will answer for any time I have abdicated my responsibilities in training, protecting, providing or spiritually leading my children. So, as my wife and children have said, they would rather live in a van down by the river with me, than in a mansion in my absence. I am currently still in the queue at LUSD for the behind the wheel training & am currently substituting as an attendant on the special needs buses, that won't be enough to live on in the long run, But God will provide.
God is good, all the time, and He will provide for all of our needs in His perfect timing. That is a promise.

More Milestones

Three March Birthdays

This March is a month of milestones. 

My eldest boy (man) turns 16. He will get his driving permit very soon.

My youngest baby girl turns 1. She will be walking very soon.

My second boy (man) turns 14. He is becoming a man so quickly.

Where does the time go? When I realize these milestones are happening I usually do a little reflection, and get a tinge of guilt. 

Have I been the daddy I am supposed to be? Have I spent the time I should have spent? Have I trained or taught my children the important things that they need to know? Have I spent too much time at work, and not enough face time with each of my awesome kids? What more do I need to teach them? What more do I need to tell them? How much more time do I have with each of them? Are the things I do instead of spend time with them really more important? How can I do better? How can I erase the stupid mistakes I've made? Have I demonstrated to my boys how to be a Husband, Daddy and man of integrity? Have I demonstrated to my girls how they should expect a man to treat them with respect and honor? 

What more do I need to do to help them become the men and women who love God and bless others with their lives?

Proverbs 22:6 - Train up a child in the way he should go; even when he is old he will not depart from it.

Please God, blot out my mistakes and amplify anything I may have done right.

I am an uneducated, common tradesman.

Now when they saw the boldness of Peter and John, and perceived that they were uneducated, common men, they were astonished. And they recognized that they had been with Jesus. 
(Acts 4:13 ESV)

This was after they had been filled with the Holy Spirit. This passage hit me hard today. I have always thought that my understanding of the Bible would alway be limited because I could not attend a Bible College. But in reality, my limitation of understanding is based on my submission (or lack) to God, Jesus and the Holy Spirit. Peter and John were not scholars, not educated academically. They were tradesmen. Their education was limited to their daily work, and whatever they gleaned from life. They were not of the social class to be able to attend school. But, by the grace of God, they were among the few that spent face time with Jesus, and among the first few to receive the indwelling Holy Spirit- whom they surrendered their will to. So, the lesson I need to learn is: keep prayerfully reading my Bible, Pray for understanding & wisdom, get my own mind/assumptions out of the way, submit to the Spirit of God and listen/read sermons and biographies of men of God who have displayed through their lives whole hearted submission to God. This has become an important focus of my life. I need to sit at the feet of Jesus more. I am an uneducated, common tradesman.

Father's Day

Father's Day is just a few days away, so I get to thinking about being a father.
Am I a good father?
Am I teaching my kids the important things of life or demonstrating a life not to emulate?
What am I doing wrong? What am I doing right? How can I improve?
What do my kids need to know to be faithful, good, reliable people? Will they be solid leaders or sheeple?
Why do they go through clothes so fast? Why do girls clothes cost 10x more than boys clothes for 1/4 the fabric?
How can I demonstrate my love for them any more?

Happy Father's Day